Once you learn how to be alone you will no long be chained to the desperate need to keep a person in your life even though the relationship is bad for you. Whether the person is a lover, a marriage partner, a friend, or even a family member what good is it if the relationship brings you pain and lower self-esteem? If you can’t bare the thought of being alone you will always be in a position of weakness in your relationships. However, once you learn how to be alone and truly enjoy it you’ll be able to negotiate your relationships from a position of strength knowing that you can end it and be okay.
We all experience moments of intense loneliness. We initially experience this when we are left alone for the first time as children. As we develop and grow we learn not to fear being alone. Nevertheless, there times when we face feelings of loneliness. These times can be extremely difficult at first.
Transitions in adulthood can bring on powerful feelings of loneliness. When we break up, get a divorce, or a partner dies we are suddenly alone. Before this event, we grew to rely on their companionship. We knew that during almost every evening, weekend, and holiday we would have someone to share it with. The sad feelings that you experience can be the same when a close friendship ends.
If your break up or divorce was preceded by months of tension, the separation might come as a relief initially. After a few nights and weekends alone, however, the relief can turn into desperation about being alone. It is at this point where profound growth is possible. You can use the pain of the break up and the loneliness to move yourself past the sometimes terrifying feelings of facing the future alone! Once you breakthrough and find your strength, which is present in you right now, you’ll experience a whole new world of personal power and freedom.
“I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.”
“I lived in solitude in the country and noticed how the monotony of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.”
-Albert Einstein
4 comments:
Being alone...
- a wonderful topic at all times...
..closely analyzed...you are alone.. and the desperation is just another feeling..
as far as i am concerned.. i don't mind playing low.. unless i have someone who i can lean onto when necessary..
liked the post...
Bottomline..: Interesting topics bring out the actual truth.
hey nice one da...!! Why suddely u writing on being alone...???
actually saying . being alone is so much fun.... after all.. commitments pull us down to hell.. :P
The write up is good, quick notes in this regard:
1. Show a more positive side of the situation (independance, get your heads together, possibility of tapping your desires and many more)
2. Seems like you are hurt or something?? Well, dont be! Life is after all about moving on rather than still be lingering on situations gone by. So, skip it!
3. Being alone is okay to a very large extent but in general (not specific about as you put it 'a lover, a life partner, a friend or a family member') you need people around you at all times to spread what joy you have & can possibly share with. Doesnt make sense, does it? But being the one spreading love around - a life and a lonliness worth spent.
Good luck for all that you may scribble! :)
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